LOS ANGELES – Sony Productions has announced that Canadians will no longer be allowed on long-running American game show Wheel of Fortune due to irreconcilable cultural differences regarding the pronunciation of the 26th letter of the alphabet.
“Unfortunately Wheel of Fortune is no longer able to accommodate Canadian applicants,” said spokeswoman Angela Burke. “The producers simply felt that Canadian’s admittedly correct pronunciation of certain letters and words was too much for our viewers to handle.”
“Don’t even get me started on all the times they tried to stick a ‘u’ where it doesn’t belong,” she added.
This issue came to a head during a February 19th taping involving contestant Gord Hampton of Fort St. John, BC. Needing only to complete the puzzle “MEAT LOVERS PI–A” by filling in the blanks with Zs, Hampton confidently stated, “I’d like a zed.”
This was met with confused stares from the audience and host Pat Sajak. After Hampton repeated this several times, the producers of the show huddled up frantically, decided a zed must be some sort of Canadian soft drink he was asking for, and denied him his request. The next contestant won the puzzle by asking for a zee.
When reached for comment, a frustrated Sajak expressed support for the embargo. “I’ve been complaining about Canadians for years. And this whole zed thing is just the tip of the iceberg. Do you realize how much ‘I’d like to buy a vowel, eh’ sounds like ‘I’d like to buy a vowel: A’?”
Asked if she was worried about alienating Canadian viewers, Burke replied, “I don’t think that’s a huge concern, we haven’t had very many Canadians try to get on the show lately. With the exchange rate, most can’t afford to buy vowels anyway.”
