Fairfax, NFLD – Feather Feet, formerly Fairfax Footwear, has recalled their first famed flip-flop franchise, the Freezy Flow, for flipping, but failing to flop.
Faulty manufacturing on the factory floor made the Freezy Flow flip flops too flat and firm, fastening to the feet, instead of flexing in a free flowing fashion, as a your favourite flip flop should.
“Fuck!” said former financial officer at Feather Feet, Felix Federline. “Fucking factories in Fiji!”
The frustration over the failed flopping has had fierce financial fallout for Feather Feet. Forecasts foretell of fees, further federal fines and finally foreclosure if false flip flops were not finally freed from the marketplace.
