MONTREAL — If things couldn’t get any worse for Habs defenceman P.K. Subban, the 2013 Norris Trophy winner learned that he will be fined $50 by the Office québécois de la langue française by cursing towards his teammates exclusively in English.
Citing an obscure article in the 1977 Charter of the French Language, Quebec’s language police said that at least two-thirds of pro-hockey players’ profanities made on ice must be made in Quebecoise. During Subban’s tirade about puck support and lack of offence, he reportedly used none of the wide array of Quebec swear words.
“The player had many opportunities to berate his teammates in French,” explained Gabrielle Menard of the Office québécois de la langue française. “Instead of telling his team that ‘they really fucked that play up’, he should have said ‘Osti d’épais de marde’ When he was criticized for his lack of goals, he should have responded ‘Je m’en calice’ instead of ‘I don’t give flying fuck’.
“And he could have used tabernac like a million times already,” added Menard.
Subban has since responded by placing another $10 million into the hospital donation swear jar.