MONTREAL — Following the start of a massive raw sewage dump into the St. Lawrence river, environmentalists across the island of Montreal have begun driving to facilities in nearby Cornwall, Ontario whenever they feel the need to defecate.
A wide range of environmental groups including Bird Protection Quebec and the David Suzuki Foundation have denounced Montreal’s dumping of 8 billion liters of raw sewage. To lessen the effects on the local environment, many of these groups have asked that Montrealers travel to nearby communities rather than defecate on the island.
“We don’t care if it’s Cornwall or Trois-Rivières or Plattsburgh, New York. We simply ask that Montrealers follow a little rhyme: ‘If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, pick a different town,’” explained a representative from the Green Action Centre before getting on a Kingston-bound Megabus.
Since dumping began overnight Tuesday, Cornwall has experienced a 10,000% increase in traffic as green-conscious Montrealers flock to the small city. Many Cornwall residents have expressed frustration at the difficulties they now face finding a public bathroom.
“I really need to go,” said Cornwall resident Gordon Francis outside a Subway restaurant bathroom. Some residents have described waits as long as 3 hours.
Bathroom shortages may worsen before they get better. The number of environment-conscious bathroom commuters is expected to increase as Montreal enters Vegan Burrito Week Monday.
