WHITE FALLS, B.C. – Making a big old fuss after her cub was taken, one eleven-hundred pound local mother grizzly seems to have forgotten the age-old rule that finders are keepers, and losers are the ones who are weepers.
“Anyone can tell you that possession is nine-tenths of the law,” said legal expert Jared Lafonde. “And rising to your full twelve-foot stature and throwing a hissy fit isn’t going to change anything about that.”
Sources close to the situation say that the mother bear is acting like a ‘big baby’, specifically like a ‘really, really, really, really big baby.’
At press time, the mother bear had proven herself a hypocrite, by seeming to believe ‘finders keepers’ was okay when applied to Lafonde’s hands and scalp.
