CANADA – In a recent breakthrough by electronic cigarette manufacturers the next generation of e-cigarettes on the market will cause cancer and other complications, giving what distributors are calling a more authentic experience.
“This is monumental,” said Pat Johnson, owner of popular distributor CanCigs. “For years our consumers have been prevented from getting the genuine cigarette experience, limited by the technology available. This development is a complete game changer.”
E-cigarettes became popular in the early 2000’s as a smoking substitute designed to curb cigarette addictions. Since then, scientists have been working on making e-cigarettes as close as possible to the real thing.
“Some people ask why we did this,” said Linda Hennessey, a researcher at Eson Technologies. “Why? Because this industry is devoted to pushing boundaries and delivering an authentic, top-quality, and eventually deadly product.”
In the wake of several provincial bans on e-cigarette use in public venues, public and government response to this new direction of e-cigarette development has been strong. Several health organizations have cited the possible risks of making the most popular type of cigarette-substitute highly, and deliberately, carcinogenic.
“I chalk it all up to fear mongering,” commented Hennessey. “No rational person is going to go out and purchase a cancer-causing and totally rad, if I may say, product if that’s not what they want. But hey, nicotine right?”
When asked what other innovations consumers could expect in the next generation of e-cigarettes, Johnson gave a few clues:
“Well here on the marketing end of things I can definitely tell you that paper is what’s in right now. So what you might be seeing is plastic being swapped out for a paper in the majority of products. Of course, if that happens an external heat-source will be required for ignition. But the good folks at the lab are working on some sort of lighter fluid or phosphorus-based gizmo.”
Since testing began, it has been found that the new e-cigarettes cause emphysema, heart disease, and erectile dysfunction as well. When asked to comment, Johnson remarked that these discoveries were “a pleasant bonus.”
