Point:
I love riding my Sea-Doo at the cottage
By: Brayden Gregorsen
I have worked hard to get where I am today. And you have too. That is why we deserve to live take pleasure in the simple things in life. Cottage living allows us to get away from it all. For a few brief weekends each year we get to leave the stress of the city behind and enjoy the pleasures of the great outdoors at even greater speeds on a Bombardier Sea-Doo. I love riding my Sea-Doo at the cottage.
I have travelled all over the World for my job as a marketing consultant and I can honestly say, riding my Sea-Doo at my cottage, there’s nothing like it on Earth. The sun is shining, the wind whips across my face at 110 KPH. The wilderness zooming by as I streak across the edge of the lake, the faint darting of woodland creatures scampering away into the darkness seeking protection in the forest from my God-like approach on the screaming back of a mighty waterhorse. There I am, tempting the fates to take me, as I buzz dangerously close to the rocks surrounding nearby cottager’s dock. I wave at them as I push my wake to lap upon their shores – and by the time they wave back – I am already gone.
I remember my first Sea-Doo. 2001 Sea-Doo XP. Yellow, of course. Floats like a waterfly, stings like a bee. That two-seated beauty was my pride and joy. It was my 37th birthday, recently single, and I wanted to mark the occasion by doing something special for myself, so I headed to the local boat show and fell in love. The freedom. The thrill. The fun. The way women started looking at me as I made the long haul journey 6 hours from the city to the North Shores of Georgian Bay with that sweet hydro jet tail hanging off the back of the trailer.
That Sea-Doo served me well, for many years. Sadly, last year was her last. The day she finally broke down, it was like losing a daughter, and on the same day that I lost my son from my second marriage, Jonathan. But a time of great loss marks a new era, as I’ve now upgraded to the RXT-X 260. Yellow, of course.
See you out on the water.
Counterpoint:
Thanks for ruining my peaceful holiday weekend at the cottage, asshole.
By: Hal Uppericht
You have spent the past four hours annoying the shit out of everyone on this lake on your fucking Sea-Doo. I drove five hours in a hot car to avoid assholes like you. Instead, I am forced to watch and listen to you ruin an entire three day weekend with you and your expensive novelty boat.
I was trying to relax in the sunlight on my dock before you decided to launch HMCS Dickwad and childishly spin around in circles with no clear objective for half-an-hour. After I thought you were done entertaining your pea-sized brain, I tried to fish. But your incessant stupidity and whine from your $20,000 piece of floating metal scared away all forms of life.
And just when I think your obsession for being a high-speed water prick was enough for one day, you invite your weekend call girl to hop on to double the douchiness. Seriously, what are you accomplishing by inviting everyone in the area to bear witness to your second midlife crisis? You’re impressing no one!
I bet that Sea-Doo reassures your brittle sense of masculinity. That vessel is a lot like you; very loud and serves no little to no purpose. You look happy zipping by wearing that expensive wetsuit, but I know you’re dead on the inside.
So, could you do me and everyone else a favour and shut-the-fuck-up for the rest of the weekend? Thank you.
Photos from: depositphotos.com/ londondeposit, Hackman
