TORONTO – After spending thousands of dollars on season tickets and pre-game sushi only to see the Leafs lose again and again, local man and ACC Platinum Club member Winston Scott joined the ranks of disgruntled jersey tossers by throwing his $4,000.00 suit jacket onto center ice.
“As fans, we show up and support this team, all the way from the ten minute mark of the first period to the moment they stop the in-seat food service,” said Scott. “And like many others I wanted to show my disgust at how the team and management treated us. I didn’t have a jersey to throw because I’m not six or a construction worker, but I did the best I could.”
“They are going to give me the jacket back right? That thing had a thread count higher than Jonathan Bernier’s goals against average!” added Scott.
Scott went on to outline his ideas for how the Leafs could improve, including offering more rare scotches, selling “rustic” jerseys at top dollar, and just turning all the seats into platinum seats in order to attract a better fan base.
At press time Leaf centre Nazim Kadri was telling reporters that Scott wasn’t a true fan, but he would still be willing to attend Scott’s office summer party if his appearance fee was paid on time.
