Since the downfall of The Sun News Network, conservative commentator Ezra Levant has announced that he will launch The Rebel, an online media network, from his living room as soon as he can get his dam cats out of the shot.
“Cats are the biggest obstacle to producing hard hitting journalism from the home,” said Levant in reference to his two cats Fracky and The Strawman. “You can’t let them anywhere near the living room, uhh, I mean, broadcast centre. Its a well established fact that cats run the whole internet, and if they appear in the background while you are in the middle of a powerful rant against the debunked theory of man made climate change, they’re all anyone will talk about.”
“It is hard for the truth to fight against the meowstream media,” he added while wistfully staring at a small shrine to Glenn Beck on his mantle.
Levant remained determined however to not let his new circumstances affect his brand of hard hitting, borderline delusional journalism.
“It’s almost showtime” Levant remarked while attaching a laser pointer to an oscillating fan in his bedroom before quickly locking the cats in it. “I’ve got a one hour segment that is going live before I head out to conduct some random interviews with unsuspecting strangers in the grocery store check out line.”
