NEW YORK – Thanks to a year of swaggering, unapologetic dickheaded-ness, Forbes magazine has named Vladimir Putin as the World’s Most Powerful Fuckface for the 2nd year in a row.
“Whether one is speaking of human rights, war-mongering, or sporting events truly there is no greater asshole in the world today than Vladimir Putin,” wrote editor Steve Forbes. “Take a bow you monkey-brained, testosterone-addled, shit-sucking cumstain. You’ve earned it.”
Among Putin’s numerous accomplishments in the field of complete fuckery was the unprovoked assault on neighbouring Ukraine, which merely made the mistake of forgetting about the massive, utterly massive, cocknose who lived next door.
At press time, Putin was celebrating his victory by shitting on endangered animals, leaving 1% tips at restaurants, and generally being a taint to journalists.
