Canada has not made the World Cup since 1986. How can Team Canada make the next one?
1. Call it football – not soccer – like everybody else
2. Out-bribe the highest FIFA bidder
3. Wait for Russia to invade half of Europe to narrow down the competition
4. Change immigration policy to favour more professional soccer players to work at McDonalds
5. Win the requisite number of games
6. Use DNA from Ronaldo, Bale, and Beckham to create a super attractive woman to seduce opponents
7. Pull the goalie!
8. Provide acting classes to players with the Stratford Theatre Company
9. Get the Women’s team to teach the Men’s team
