WASHINGTON – In the wake of winning a Supreme Court ruling, US arts and crafts retailer Hobby Lobby has announced that all of their female employees will be required to wear Chastity belts to ensure that they follow the religious beliefs of company owners.
“We want to ensure that our women employees are protected from sexual temptation,” said Hobby Lobby founder David Green, whose company is no longer required to pay for employee insurance that his family doesn’t agree with. “Marriage is between a man and his wife and is a sacred vow with God and our employees must respect our wishes. These belts will ensure that these vows are kept.”
The belts come in a variety of traditionally feminine pastel hues and are made from crochet supplies found at your local Hobby Lobby. Employees can also decorate their chastity belts with each store’s staff bedazzler.
When asked how she feels about the policy change, Alanna James, the assistant manager of a Salt Lake City hobby lobby said, “Well, I am sad that I’ll no longer have access to an IUD, but at least I have that employee discount for knitting needles. Now that I have no more reproductive healthcare, that could come in handy.”
Despite public protests, which claim his company is forcing his family’s religious beliefs on employees, Green insists that women at his corporation have some of the best benefits.
“Chastity belts are the best form of birth control and it will be covered in our company health insurance plan.” Green added.
