DRYDEN – After hearing numerous complaints, a pulp mill in Dryden, Ontario has decided to amend its method of manufacturing matzah bread on the eve of the Passover holiday.
The Dryden Mill, which has been making half of North America’s matzah since 1911, has recently come under fire from its customers, who assert that their product “tastes like paper.”
“I understand that the Israelites had to leave quickly and all that,” said local Jewish man Steve Feldman. “But, surely, the people at Dryden can afford to put in a little more time and care into their matzah?”
The administration of the mill has reassured buyers that their concerns have been heard, and that they have now prioritized matzah production over “paper towels, cardboard and glossy photo paper.”
At press time, a local tire manufacturer has made no changes to its haggis assembly procedure.
