MONTREAL – In what is being called a courageous act of apathy, a landlord has eliminated most of his building’s bed bugs by ignoring calls to fix the building’s centralized heating system.
Residents of Sharpwood Hall located on Rue St. Laurent were amazed by the quick non-actions by James Milton, the proprietor of the 124-unit apartment building.
“Thank god I will no longer be disturbed by those blood sucking insects” a shivering Marie-Éve Boucher said while wearing a thick winter jacket inside her apartment. “My tropical fish are dead, but on the upside, so are the bed bugs. I have James to thank for this.”
The building has had a longstanding issue with bed bugs as Milton has generously given the responsibility of paying for extermination costs to his loyal tenants. However, Milton struck genius after he cunningly avoided to fix a large crack in one of the centralized heating system’s pipes making temperatures in the building plummet to a crisp -10 C.
At press time, the elusive hero was not available for comment by phone or at his warm house in the suburbs.
