OTTAWA – Suspended senator Patrick Brazeau has finally found a respectable job as a strip-club day manager after leaving the decadent opium den that is the Canadian Senate.
“I’m just happy to be out of there,” said Brazeau while waxing down a brass poll. “It was just a poisonous work environment. Money was being thrown around left right and center, people were just doing whatever the hell they wanted; one day the higher-ups would give you the cash to buy a house somewhere else and they’d turn a blind eye, the next day they’d crack down on one of us randomly, and your whole life would be ruined. You never knew who your friends were.”
Once done his six-month probation period at the club, Brazeau will be assured his management position at Ottawa’s premier gentlemen’s’ club, BareFax.
“It’s just such an honour to be able to work at such an esteemed Ottawa institution,” Brazeau boasted. “I used to be ashamed to tell people where I worked, but now I can hold my head up high.”
At press time, Brazeau was preparing for his ex-colleagues to come by for BareFax’s roast beef lunch rush.
