MONTRÉAL – The City of Montreal has confirmed reports that the reconstruction of the Champlain Bridge will cause horrendous problems until 2025.
“I know that we said that it would be finished in 2017,” said the project’s chief architect Charles de Pontiac. “However, we forgot to account for weather related delays, union strife, incompetence, imported steel, visits to the Charbonneau commission, the fluctuating price of the gold plated galvanized rivets, weekends, manicures, and smoke breaks.”
The commute time will remain the same as before as there are many other equally appalling ways into the city.
“You can take one of the other decrepit bridges or the Metro tunnels that are being repaired. If you are strong you could swim, so long as you avoid the garbage floes. Plus, renting a helicopter has come down in price recently. There is still plenty of good helicopter parking in the city.”
The Mayor of Montreal Denis Coderre is not concerned about the possible backlash from commuters stating: “If they were worth listening to, they wouldn’t live on the South Shore.”
