MIAMI – The nation expressed shock and disbelief earlier this week when a young native from a very small rural town in Ontario was arrested for driving under the influence.
“Wait, you’re saying that a teenager from a small town in Ontario where there’s nothing to do got arrested for drunk-driving? I just can’t see it. There must be some mistake,” said local lawyer, Stan Higgenbotham. “Sure, Stratford kids like to have a good time, but there’s plenty to do for young folk throughout the year. For example, we have a lot of great theatre.”
According to a spokesperson, following his release on bail, the 19-year-old in question is said to be confident that justice would be served, but was really worried about what his mom and every 15-year-old girl in town is going to say.
