KAMLOOPS, BC – In celebration of a small pay raise two men engaged in a high-five that neither of them are willing to admit was extremely painful and possibly permanently damaging.
“Ha ha ha!” said Mark Tamberlain, laughing hard to muffle his initial whimper. “What a great high-five! I told you watching the elbow works, Dave. Do you have any ice for… uh… for my scotch? Like, a bag of ice.”
The high-five occurred after Dave McIntosh and Mark Tamberlain engaged in an awkward, too long hug in celebration of McIntosh’s raise. Both men then independently decided that a hearty high-five would restore the manhood to their friendship and themselves.
“That wasn’t bad at all. I could totally do another one… if I wasn’t late to a meeting,” said McIntosh, clutching a napkin in his fist to help dull the pain and stem any residual bleeding.
McIntosh then locked himself in his office and sobbed into a bank statement while Tamberlain was last spotted starting to dial 911 before realizing he’d have to explain this to his kids.
At press time, three businessmen were hospitalized in a firm-handshake related incident.
