BRAZIL-COLOMBIAN BORDER – A group of anthropologists has returned from the Amazon rainforest with the shocking news that they have discovered a previously unknown tribe that uses Palm Pilots.
Michigan State University professor and expedition leader, Ryan Hofstadter was shocked by this discovery. “Considering the efforts of colonists, fame-seeking academics, and the Discovery Channel, I figured no uncontacted peoples remained.”
“I’m happy to have been proven wrong,” Hofstadter admits. He and his colleagues have named the tribe Stylus, in honour of their favourite handheld device.
The Stylus, according to Hofstadter are a traditional hunter-gatherer society. “It’s as if the last couple millennia never happened to them.” From their observations, the anthropologists believe that the tribe uses their PDAs to schedule their hunting and gathering as well as to track crop yields.
“This solves one of the longest-standing mysteries about pre-industrial societies,” says Phyllis Lambert, PhD. “We never knew how these small groups could remember who was hunting and who was gathering,” she observes, staring intently at her iPad.
While proud of his discovery, Hofstadter wishes he could have contacted the tribe but did not want to take the risk of infecting the Stylus with the desire for colour screens or habitual texting during dates. “Things would have been so much easier if they had wireless” he added.
