VATICAN CITY – Brazilian Cardinal Odilo Scherer was somewhat consoled when he received his runner-up prize of a washer and dryer after losing the papal election yesterday.
“It’s alright,” Odilo said of the prize. “It’s not a stackable though. I don’t know where I can fit this unit in my house. They’re both made by Maytag, so I’m not worried about reliability, but the conclave could have – at very least – given me a Samsung King-sized electric touch screen LCD Front-Load dryer.”
The 63 year-old cardinal received a Maytag Centennial Top Load washer last night after Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was announced to be the winner.
“But I must follow in the modesty of Pope Francis and forgo high-efficiency washes and Advanced PowerFoam technology and be happy that my clothes will be cleaned,” Odilo stated before deeply sighing and lowering his head.
