CFL Players ask Kick For A Million winner for personal loans - The Beaverton

CFL Players ask Kick For A Million winner for personal loans

TORONTO – As the CFL approaches the , its premiere event of the year, discouraging reports have indicated that several of the league’s down on their luck players have asked the winner of Wendy’s Kick for a Million for loans to help them get through the holiday season.

Greg Wilson, winner of the 2011 contest during the Grey Cup, has been repeatedly petitioned by players for financial assistance from his $31,000 prize.

“Like everyone else, my heart breaks at the plight of professional football players in Canada, but we all have bills to pay,” the 52 year-old IT consultant said from Calgary after he was petitioned by Edmonton’s running back Cory Boyd for help with furnishing his bachelor apartment.

The Calgary Stampeder’s Jon Cornish was disappointed when Wilson rebuked his request to pay for some of the monthly interest on his student loan from the University of Kansas.

“Doesn’t seem right,” Cornish said. “I work my ass off for 5 years with the League, help win a Grey Cup and had 9 touchdowns last season, while he wins three years worth of my salary in one lucky kick.”

Montreal Alouettes quarterback Anthony Calvillo stated that players are feeling the squeeze and think Wilson should pay up. “The team has to carpool to games,” Calvillo explained. “Do you know how awkward it is to be stuck between two defensive linemen in the backseat of Patrick Lavoie’s 1986 Pontiac Acadian?”

Toronto Argonaut’s kicker Swayze Waters, slotback Chad Owens and offensive lineman Wayne Smith had also made loan requests to Wilson, but were not available for comment. The three were last seen disputing a $46 bill at a local Eastside Mario’s after a big win over Montreal.

“It’s tough out there,” said Hamilton Tigercats Chris Williams as he revealed a tiger-striped jock strap to a group of hooting middle aged woman. “I can understand why some of my colleagues are desperate, but we all need to make some sacrifices for the love of the game.” Williams, also known as “Big Willy” proceeded to perform some of his memorable touchdown dances and made a solid $35 in tips before being asked by the manager to do a lap dance for a bachelorette party.

Wilson said he was planning on investing in call screening software in order to avoid the awkward requests. “At the end of the day, I guess I’m glad I only have to deal with the CFL guys. I’ve heard the lacrosse players are so hard up they’ve turned into a roving band of pirates, pillaging towns for food and shelter.”