TORONTO – A six-year friendship between former college roommates Stefan Gelko, 27, and Nick Shobel, 26, has recently devolved into a relationship existing solely in Facebook form, a concerned Gelko told reporters.
“It was so gradual, I feel like I’ve been friends with a profile picture for months,” said Gelko. “Nick and I used to sit in these babies all the time. Like, actually physically sit in them, with real butts, and real sits,” he continued, gesturing to his bottom and the twin bean bag chairs in his wood-panelled basement.
“Now he never comes over anymore. All I get from him these days is a bunch of wall posts saying we should get coffee, but it never happens. When I say ‘let’s do it,’ he just ‘likes’ my comment and I don’t hear from him for weeks.”
Despite the online shift in their relationship, Gelko remains hopeful that his friendship with Shobel will return to a more personal, analog state of “bro” in time.
“He wants to write on my wall? Cool, I’ve got four of them, here’s a sharpie, whatever it takes. When he’s ready to stop by again, he’s not gonna need a timeline to pick up where this bro party left off,” he said while staring at an unfinished game of Full House-Monopoly in the corner. “It’s his move.”
