I'm the Champ: Men are from Rome, women are from Mars - The Beaverton

I’m the Champ: Men are from Rome, women are from Mars

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A lot of people notice I’m good with ladies. They say “Hey Champ, you are so smooth, you must have
slept with a hundred girls.” Now I am a gentleman and will never brag, but it’s more than two, I’ll tell
you that for free.

People always ask me why women are different from men. I say, “I don’t know, but I also do know a bit,
if you get my drift. Let me help you.”

So here are a few things that women don’t like about men that we like. So if you want a woman, do less
of these things, depending on how pretty she is. If you like doing all of them find an ugly girl, or a girl
with no arm or something like that, OK?

  • Girls don’t like toilet seat up, don’t know why
  • Girls don’t like to be fat, even if they ask, and they are fat, don’t tell them, it is a TRICK
  • If they ask you for money back that you borrowed, pretend you forgot about it. Do acting.
  • If a girl calls you a loser just let it slide. I have 650 trophies on PS3 lady, who is the loser now?
  • Girls want you to go to girl movies every once in awhile. Go if they pay, and don’t complain or sleep if possible. Chick flicks with Ryan Gosling are not too bad, he is pretty cool.
  • Don’t talk much so they think you are deep. Unless you are deep, then talk more so they know it for sure.
  • Make a poem every little bit about her hair and eyes. You think it won’t work, but IT WILL WORK FINE, OK?
  • Learn how to dance like Spanish guys if you have the time.
  • Read at least one book and talk about it here and there. For example is when I read Catcher in the Rye (Boring), I would go, “This all reminds me of Holden Cauliflower from Catcher in the Rye.” And nobody ever asks about it because they are embarrassed they didn’t read it. PERFECT PLAN.
  • Take a girl for a walk in a park, it cost nothing and you can see some ducks and whatever to get horny.

So that’s it, do all these and you’ll be as successful as me (2+ partners, that’s all I’ll say, LOL). Also if you
thought this was good advice tell people about The Champ, I am trying to help the world if the world
would just listen.

Jeff