OTTAWA – Despite countless campaigns, television ads, posters, and educational programs, only a small portion of the Canadian population seems to have grasped the concept of washing their hands as a hygienic practice, according to concerned Health Canada officials.
“Not only are we educating people about the benefits of hand-washing, but we’re also forced to educate people on how to wash their hands,” said Minister of Health Leonna Aglukkaq. “It doesn’t get more simple than rinse, lather, rinse and dry. The fact that we even had to make a poster is a bit frightening when you think about it.”
Yet the message seems to be lost on many Canadians.
“I just don’t get it,” said local man Kurt McDougerson, who struggles to understand the hand-washing poster in his workplace washroom.
“I can make it to the lather and scrub step okay, but then it gets all weird. Where did those paper towels come from? We have an air dryer. Whaaa? I just don’t know what to do after that… so I wipe my hands on my sleeves, or stick them in my pockets to forget about it. But sometimes I don’t wear pants with pockets, and then I can’t forget. Ooooh boy, those are the bad days.”
Desperate health officials are tempted to lower standards of hand hygiene in order to make hand washing less confusing for Canadians
“Our future posters promoting hygiene will have to be less ambitious,” Aglukkaq explained. “When you add soap and lather and things like that, Canadians seem to get overwhelmed and give up entirely.”
“We’re thinking about a campaign that simply promotes using your shirt sleeve as much as possible, whether you’re sneezing, opening a door handle, or handling raw meat,” Aglukkaq continued. “As long as people do not put the sleeve into their mouths, it should be a reasonably safe means of controlling bacteria.”
Other planned hygiene posters will focus only on the most hazardous neglect of hand hygiene, such as telling Canadians not to hold a subway pole and licking their open palm, or retrieving a cell phone from a public toilet and then eating a sandwich with their bare hands.
While the confusion over hand-hygiene is alarming, Aglukkaq nevertheless mentioned that Canada ranks well in other forms of hygiene when compared to other countries.
“At least Canadians are adept when it comes to simple things, like removing toe jam from their feet.”
with files by Leah Edwards and Amir Ahmed
