News in Photos…
Tag: winter olympics
5 events to watch at the Olympics which we DEFINITELY remembered were happening
What, they’re still doing that? Like with Omicron and everything? I mean, hello, and welcome to the 2022 Winter Games happening in… wait until Wikipedia refreshes… Beijing! Wait, is that a typo? …
Winter Olympics add new event for cross-country infection
LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND – In response to growing concerns about the highly-infectious Omicron variant, the International Olympic Committee has opted to do the right thing and add a new event …
Local man unsure if Olympics just started or already over
WINNIPEG – After two weeks of competition, Pete Franklin is completely unaware if the Winter Olympic Games have just kicked off or finished days ago. “I heard that the opening and/or closing cere…
Grandmother watching Olympic figure skating thinks Virtue and Moir should just fuck already
CALGARY – An 85-year-old grandmother and fan of Olympic ice dancing thinks Canadian Olympic figure skaters Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir should “just fuck already.” Janice Bondar made the ann…
Historian confirms ancient Greek Olympic curling took place in the nude
LAVAL, QC – A recent study shows that the original Olympic athletes of ancient Greece, long thought to not practice any winter sports at all, did in fact compete at curling, and did so comp…