WASHINGTON D.C. – In what may be the final batch of pardons issued by the president before the end of his term, Donald Trump has announced that COVID-19 will receive a full and complete pardon fo…
Tag: Trump
“Don’t call me Canada’s Donald Trump” says Canada’s Donald Trump Jr.
OTTAWA – Rejecting accusations that he is similar in any way to President Donald Trump, Canada’s equivalent to Donald Trump Jr. released a statement denying his party is in any way fa…
Trump spends final days just rubbing his dick on everything in White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the days wind down in the first and potentially only term held by President Trump, the Commander in Chief is reported to be spending his dwindling hours rubbing his penis ove…
In rare show of bipartisanship only 95% of Republicans vote in favour of man who tried to kill them
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of bipartisanship nearly 5% of Republican Members of Congress voted to impeach the man who, exactly one week ago, sent a horde of white supremacists …
Trump not worried about second impeachment stating, “I already got impeached once, so now I am immune to it”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has announced that he is not worried about his oncoming second impeachment as he “already has built up a strong immunity to it.” “Remember when you…
Canadians relieved our right-wing, authoritarian politicians not charismatic enough to inspire Coups
OTTAWA – In the wake of the attempted storming of the US Capitol Building, Canadians are expressing relief that our many far-right, anti-democrat politicians are too bland to inspire an arm…
Trump spends weekend just fucking unloading on Tumblr
WASHINGTON D.C. – After getting himself permanently banned from social media sites including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, President Donald J. Trump reportedly spent the entire weekend …
Conservative Party demands MPs give back all the pro-Trump paraphernalia they handed out
OTTAWA – All Conservative MPs have been ordered to return all MAGA hats, t-shirts, bracelets, and other types of pro-Trump gear that was distributed by the party before the US Presidential …
Trump releases another message to yesterday’s Capitol rioters: “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always”
WASHINGTON, DC – Following yesterday’s attempted coup, U.S. President Donald Trump has released a video message asking his supporters to stand down and adding that “he’ll love them forever,…
Canadian physios overwhelmed as nation injured patting itself on the back
FORT LANGLEY, BC – Physiotherapists nationwide are reporting a sudden influx of Canadians who have been injured trying to pat themselves on the back after witnessing the chaos erupting in t…
