TORONTO – After a series of false bomb threats made against WestJet flights, Air Canada is requesting more threats be made against its own aircraft as an alibi for its poor service. “We are…
Tag: transportation
Government removes ‘Trans’ from Trans-Canada Highway citing family values
OTTAWA – Canada’s transcontinental highway will get a name change after several Conservative MPs and Senators expressed discomfort with the current name. The Conservative caucus accused the…
Family spends entire long weekend stuck in traffic
TORONTO – The Warringtons of Toronto, Ontario got away from the big city over the long weekend by sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic as a family. “This was a bonding experience for us,” sa…
Calgary relieves traffic congestion replacing downtown with 6,000 lane highway
CALGARY – After years of congested roads and frustrated drivers, the City of Calgary announced that it will be tearing down most of the city’s core and paving a 6,000 lane highway for a fas…
TTC suggests passengers just ‘buy a fucking car already’
TORONTO – Overwhelming customer complaints regarding long delays and crumbling infrastructure have prompted the TTC to suggest to its unhappy customer base “to grow up” and “buy a fucking c…
Local teen takes a stand against ageism by not offering 83 year-old seat on bus
MONTREAL – Public transit officials are congratulating 16-year-old Harrison Grady for standing up against age discrimination by not giving up his seat to octogenarian Edith Perkins when she hobbl…
CN: Train drivers just too ahead of the curve for old fashioned tracks
CALGARY – CN has declared that the recent spate of train derailments stem from the overtraining and high talent level of the drivers. “Part of the problem is our train conductors are …
New Montreal Metro stations to be named after prominent, secular saints
MONTREAL – After announcing the extension of the Montreal Metro’s Blue Line, the PQ provincial government and Société de transport de Montréal announced that new stations will be named afte…
Via Rail announces new slightly faster than slow train between Toronto and Montreal
MONTREAL – In response to growing competition from airplanes, buses, automobiles and walking, Via Rail unveiled its new mediocre-speed train for the Toronto-Montreal corridor on Monday. “Th…
STM managers get big pay raise reward for 30-minutes of uninterrupted service
MONTREAL – Service on Montreal’s public transit network was entirely on schedule for half an hour on July 20th, earning the STM’s executives a 5% increase on their 2012 salaries. “With the …