TORONTO – Canadians not following this year’s NBA playoffs now find themselves engulfed in a state of panic and confusion after waking up this morning to news of the advancing Raptors. “WAIT, WHI…
Tag: Toronto Raptors
Bandwagon fan proudly brings Jays gear to Raptors game
TORONTO – Local man Joseph Dorn, who regularly and loudly proclaims that he “lives and bleeds Toronto sports” has accidentally worn his Jose Bautista jersey and several other baseball-relat…
Toronto Raptors donate $50,000 to struggling, underprivileged Maple Leafs
TORONTO – Following their best start in team history, the Atlantic Division leading Raptors spent yesterday donating money and resources to Toronto’s poor, needy NHL hockey team. “It feels …
NBA refs advance to second round after defeating Raptors
TORONTO – The Toronto Raptors were eliminated from the playoffs after a hard-fought loss to their arch-rivals, the NBA referees. “It was a really tough game. Very physical, and a lot of cal…
Drake pretty sure Raptors’ coach will put him in next game
TORONTO – In the lead up to the next Raptors playoff game, rap-artist Drake has been telling friends and family that he has “a pretty good shot” of getting some playing time. &#…
Toronto Raptors clinch playoffs for first time since last time they played in playoffs
TORONTO – For the first time in probably at least a few years based on everybody’s reaction the Toronto Raptors will be heading to the NBA playoffs this spring. “Everyone counted us out at …
Toronto Raptors promised no more Drake if they win next 4 games
TORONTO – The Toronto Raptors’ recent success has led head coach Nick Nurse to promise the team that Drake will step down as the team’s “global ambassador” if the Raptors …
New Raptors GM pledges to restore team to its former mediocrity
TORONTO – Newly appointed Raptors GM Masai Ujiri, at a press conference announcing his hiring over the weekend, made clear his intention to rebuild the team from its current horrible state …