TORONTO — Over the long weekend, the nation was jubilant to receive news that Toronto-born rapper Drake had finally gotten to second base with girlfriend Rihanna. The news about the progres…
Tag: SHoppers Drug Mart
Discovery of meth lab shows excellent health of Whitehorse’s entrepreneurial economy
WHITEHORSE — A recent fire that revealed the presence of a meth lab in Yukon’s capital city demonstrates the willingness of small businesses to invest in the city, a local economist says. D…
Drake’s Canada Council for the Arts grant about to run out
TORONTO – Popular Canadian rapper Drake may be heading for choppy waters when his grant from the Canada Council for the Arts runs out at the end of this month. Since he was bestowed the gra…
Single man buys special Valentine’s Day bag of Tostitos
CHURCHILL, MA – Local man Ryan Booker has finalized his Valentine’s Day plans this year by pre-purchasing the special bag of tortilla chips that he will eat on his own during the most…
Woman uses optimum points to buy morning after pill
TORONTO – Local woman Laura Daniels was low on cash when she went to Shoppers’ Drugmart to buy emergency contraception, so she decided to use the 50,000 optimum points she had accumulated since f…
Women and their sweatpants enthralled by Tide’s new Period Stain Guarantee detergent
TORONTO – Tide made waves in the detergent world yesterday when it announced its latest product, which promises to remove period stains from sweatpants, bed sheets, mattresses, and full-butt, nud…
Loblaw purchases Shoppers Drug Mart, forgets to use Optimum card
TORONTO – Loblaw Cos. proudly announced today the $12.4 billion acquisition of Shoppers Drug Mart Corp. in a move that has merged two of Canada’s biggest retailers but failed to provide any…
Maschismo exhibited by eating hot sauce
EAST YORK, ON – Local student Jeff Saunders impressed friends at an East-End Mr. Sub by asking for hot sauce on his sandwich, sources reported yesterday. “He was like, ‘No man, throw some h…