HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Due to recent changes in Alabama state legislation, a malfunctioning embryo freezer has been charged with mass murder. The accused cryopreservation appliance recently …
Tag: reproductive rights
“I’m pro-life, but…” says guy about to discover he is pro-choice
SUDBURY, ON – Local man Nick Jacobs declared this weekend that he was confident in his pro-life stance despite making every pro-choice argument there is. Eight minutes after arriving at his…
Conservative Party of Canada vows not to change ambiguous stance on abortion
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada has announced that, despite the growing pro-life movement in the United States government, Canadians can rest easy knowing that they won’t know the…
Conservatives reassure Canadians they will not enact an abortion ban until they finish packing Supreme Court
OTTAWA – In the wake of a leaked decision overturning Roe v. Wade, Canadian Conservatives are promising Canadians that they won’t seek to enact the abortion bans soon to be forthcomin…
Alabama outlaws having an unoccupied uterus
MONTGOMERY, AL – In a contentious vote of 25 to 6, the legislature of the state of Alabama has passed a comprehensive bill making it a crime for anyone residing in the state to have an empt…
Local activist going to protests to avoid awkward conversation with roommate
TORONTO – Grateful for the mild weather and political unrest, local activist, Kelsey Fuller, keeps going to public protests to avoid having an awkward conversation with her roommate. “Lucki…