OTTAWA – The federal agency that oversees tax collection has promised all 35 million Canadians a nice bonus if they keep quiet about a $381,737.46 tax rebate given to former mob boss Nicolo…
Tag: RCMP
Toronto police admit the ninth bullet was a bit unnecessary
TORONTO – In response to the fatal shooting of 18 year-old Sammy Yatim on a streetcar this past weekend, Toronto Police Services admitted today that the ninth round fired was a tad unnecess…
90% of RCMP attempt to retire on high note immediately after BC terror arrests
VANCOUVER – In the aftermath of the successful arrest of two would-be terrorist bombers on Canada Day, the vast majority of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police Force consider their careers having p…
UPDATE: After yet another terrorist bust, RCMP Stetson hats now too small to fit ego
VICTORIA – After successfully stopping an attempted Canada Day terrorist attack that could have potentially killed many, marking their second major bust in 2013, the RCMP announced that the curre…
Bev Oda teams up with Mike Duffy for one last big score
OTTAWA – Sources indicate Mike Duffy has finally managed to convince Bev Oda to execute one final daring heist before giving up crime for good. “C’mon, Bev, I’ve got this all planned down t…
Chief Blair: Agent Ford successfully infiltrates drug ring
TORONTO – Calling to an end an elaborate three-year undercover operation, Toronto police chief Bill Blair announced today that special agent Rob Ford has uncovered a major drug ring in the city&#…
Mike Duffy returns to political broadcasting with scandalous story about Senator Duffy
OTTAWA – Embattled Senator Mike Duffy has made a return to his former career after resigning from the Conservative caucus to report a scandalous story about himself. “As a journalist, I had to br…
RCMP to FBI following terrorist bust: ‘Whose hats look stupid now?’
TORONTO – Following yesterday’s arrest of two individuals accused of plotting a terrorist attack on a VIA rail train, officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were quick to point out t…
More white prisoners needed to balance overrepresentation of Aboriginals: Feds
OTTAWA – Responding to a correctional services watchdog report issued Thursday which points out that Aboriginals are disproportionately represented in the prison system, Corrections Canada …
‘Just leave the report by my taser’ says RCMP to Human Rights Watch
OTTAWA – RCMP instructed Human Rights Watch to leave a damning report on abuse allegations of Aboriginal girls and women on the desk of the Duty Officer beside his taser. “Yeah, we’ll look at it …
