OTTAWA – After a damning CSIS report revealing efforts by Chinese spies to influence Canada’s 2019 election, a follow-up report by Elections Canada concluded that foreign spies appear to be…
Tag: politics
Pierre Poilievre wishes traitorous dictator who hates the country he is PM of would stop being so divisive
OTTAWA – Leader of the opposition Pierre Poilievre is calling on “left-wing scrum” Justin Trudeau to stop dividing Canadians on political lines. “Canadians don’t nee…
John Tory admits to fucking Toronto
TORONTO – In breaking news, Mayor John Tory has announced his resignation after admitting to fucking Toronto. “It was a serious error of judgment on my part,” the longtime polit…
Doug Ford announces 50% of all Ontario surgeries will now be done by his buddy Steve
TORONTO – In an effort to reduce wait times for surgeries in the province of Ontario, Premier Doug Ford has announced that as many as half of all surgeries will now be handled by his good b…
Kamala Harris criticized for spending too much time on side quests
Anywhere but Washington, D.C. – American Vice President Kamala Harris has received criticism for spending too much time on side quests rather than dealing with finishing the main story. “It…
“Politics don’t affect me”, says guy complaining about inflation, the price of gas, the housing market, cost of living, ER wait times, and crippling student debt
AJAX, ON – Local gas station cashier Geoff Wayne is proud to report that politics don’t affect him despite political policy being the source of every single one of his problems. “Listen, I …
Marjorie Taylor Greene cuts ties with Dre after being told he’s a doctor
Washington, D.C. – US House member Marjorie Taylor Greene has cut professional ties with hip hop artist Dr. Dre after discovering through various sources that he is a doctor. “I don’t work …
Canadians about to elect Pierre Poilievre PM have fun laugh over Liz Truss debacle
OTTAWA – Canadians from coast to coast have spent the last 24 hours enjoying the rapid and chaotic end of Liz Truss’ era as Prime Minister, as they also indicate to pollsters that the…
Pierre Poilievre hopes to inspire future generations of kids who carry briefcases in high school to enter politics
OTTAWA – Adapting to his role as Conservative Party Leader, Pierre Poilievre is hoping to use his position not just to advocate for his positions but to inspire future generations of kids w…
Conservatives oppose NDP-Liberal Dental Care Plan with proposed “fuck you, let ‘em rot” plan
OTTAWA – In an unsurprising move, the Conservative Party of Canada have opposed a potential NDP-Liberal universal dental care plan, and instead proposing their own “fuck you, let ‘em rot” p…