Rex Murphy, the blustering defamer of societal ills (real and imagined), fraudulent politicians and the eternal menace of the youth, met with the Grim Reaper yesterday after 77 turns around the s…
Tag: Obituary
Last person to use Toronto’s Union Station pre-construction dies of old age
TORONTO – Florence Green, the last person in the world to travel through Toronto’s Union Station before the renovation began, has died peacefully in her sleep at the age of 112. “Our belove…
Classic Simpsons character George H. W. Bush dead at 94
HOUSTON, TX – George H. W. Bush, the beloved character from the classic, critically lauded early era of the long-running Fox animated program The Simpsons has died peacefully in his sleep. …
Report: Facebook pretty much just pet obituaries now
TORONTO – A new report released by the University of Toronto suggests that 90% of recent Facebook posts are messages of love for recently deceased domestic animals. The social media site, once va…
Woman dies under accumulated mountain of small, quaint succulents
GUELPH, ON – Police have confirmed that 32 year old Olivia Siegel passed away Sunday afternoon underneath a mountain of quaint little succulents of her own creation. The young woman had beg…
Hugh Hefner’s ashes interred within shoebox at back of your dad’s sock drawer
LOS ANGELES – With the passing of Hugh Hefner this week, the estate announced today that the final earthly remains of the Playboy founder and cultural icon will be cremated and then interre…
Obituary section actually sponsored content
TORONTO – On closer inspection, the ‘In Memoriam’ section of a respected news site has turned out to be a piece of native advertising. “John William Stearns (b. 1943) was a loving father, w…