LAS VEGAS – Las Vegas now knows the T-Mobile Arena will be the next derelict building after NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman announced the city will be getting an expansion hockey team for the…
Tag: NHL
Crosby voted NHL’s most valuable non-rapist
LAS VEGAS – At the National Hockey League’s star-studded event last night, Penguins captain and Stanley Cup champion Sidney Crosby was awarded the Harold Ballard Award, given annually to th…
Don Cherry’s personal support worker to host Hockey Night in Canada
TORONTO – Don Cherry’s personal care worker has learned that he will be the host of Hockey Night in Canada replacing George Stroumboulopoulos. The support worker, simply known as “Ron”, has…
Vegas NHL team excited to open for Jeff Dunham 5 nights a week
LAS VEGAS – The NHL has announced their Las Vegas expansion for the 2017-2018 season will provide an opening act for famed ventriloquist Jeff Dunham. “Yes, this team will be exclusively war…
Canada gives standing O as Howe makes one last trip to the box
SASKATOON, SK – The entire nation of Canada took to its feet this week to deliver a standing ovation as Gordie Howe, better known as ‘Mr. Hockey,’ made his final trip to the box. Howe was assesse…
Toronto Maple Leafs announce route for Draft Lottery victory parade
TORONTO – After an amazing come from behind win catapulted the Leafs to their first such victory in decades, the team has revealed the time and place of their upcoming Draft Lottery victory…
Making playoffs forces Phil Kessel to cancel annual fishing trip
A distraught Phil Kessel was forced to cancel his annual fishing trip with his buddies yesterday after the Pittsburgh Penguins made the NHL playoffs despite his best efforts. “I was pretty hopefu…
PK Subban fined for swearing only in English
MONTREAL — If things couldn’t get any worse for Habs defenceman P.K. Subban, the 2013 Norris Trophy winner learned that he will be fined $50 by the Office québécois de la langue française b…
Leafs to start goalie tarp next game
TORONTO – In the wake of Jonathan Bernier’s blowout loss to the San Jose Sharks the Toronto Maple Leafs have announced that their starting goalie for Wednesday’s game against Columbus will …
Harper the latest inferior product to be endorsed by Gretzky
TORONTO – Canadian hockey icon Wayne Gretzky endorsed Prime Minister Stephen Harper for re-election at a Conservative Party rally this week, making the Tory leader the latest in a long line of me…