WASHINGTON, DC – In a stunning show of bravery Mitch McConnell has publicly blamed President Trump for the January 6th Capitol riots, effectively biting the hand that’s fed him for the past…
Tag: Mitch McConnell
Headless Mitch McConnell says there’s nothing wrong with his health
WASHINGTON – A decapitated US Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell says there are no concerns about his health. “Everything is fine,” said the body of McConnell speaking from his neck cav…
Canadian in line for COVID test recovers from virus by time he gets to the front
TORONTO – After waking up with mild flu-like symptoms a month ago, Peter Miller went to stand in line outside of Toronto Western Hospital to get tested for COVID. As of this morning, he happily a…
Senate enters swimsuit competition portion of Trump impeachment trial
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the legal submissions of both the Democrats and Republicans as to whether President Trump should be removed from office, the impeachment trial is now set to move on to…
GOP Senators: Impeachment may set a dangerous precedent of upholding US constitution
WASHINGTON – A group of GOP Senators have warned that the potential impeachment of President Donald Trump will set a disturbing precedent for all future presidents who may be held accountab…
Regretful voting machine lobby realizes Mitch McConnell would have blocked election security bills for free
WASHINGTON – Lobbyists for the companies that make electronic voting machines used in American elections are apologizing profusely to the industry that funds them for wasting money attempti…
Traitors: moderate Republicans just voted against letting the President use The Machine
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Once again blocking the President’s plans to Make America Great Again, moderate Republicans in Congress and the Senate are refusing to vote in favour of allowing Donald J…
Mitch McConnell Congressmansplains arcane senate rules to Elizabeth Warren
WASHINGTON D.C. – One day after Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell stunned Democrats when he interrupted Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren’s speech about Jeff Sessions’ past and us…
NRA unveils new semi-automatic rifle that shoots thoughts and prayers
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA – Responding to the latest mass shooting that has rocked the United States, the National Rifle Association today unveiled a new AR-15 assault rifle whose ammunition will b…