OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney held a press conference today to announce a renaming of the “Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms”, the document that enshrined our foundational set o…
Tag: Mark Carney
Danielle Smith announces plans to hold her breath until she gets what she wants
EDMONTON – After meeting with Mark Carney to discuss pipeline construction, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has vowed to hold her breath until the Prime Minister gives her absolutely everything sh…
Report: At this point we are just trying to figure who Canadian Parliament WON’T give a standing ovation to
OTTAWA – After members of the Canadian Parliament earlier today gave a standing ovation to recently deceased far-right agitator who touted white supremacist theories, Charlie Kirk, we here …
Poilievre demands Carney scrap Temporary Foreign Worker program so Conservatives can quietly reinstate it
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre is demanding the TFW program be scrapped, in order for him to ride a wave of public resentment over immigrant labour into the Prime Minister’s office before …
Carney hoping Canadians too busy applying for jobs to notice skyrocketing unemployment numbers
OTTAWA – In the wake of a jobs report showing the national economy lost 66,000 in August alone, Prime Minister is hoping that Canadians will be too preoccupied with filling out online job a…
Carney cancels invite for Project 2025 mastermind, wants fascist takeover of Canada to be more of a surprise
OTTAWA – A planned reception for the architect of Project 2025 – the infamous policy blueprint for the Trump Administration – has been cancelled because Mark Carney wants the pl…
Mark Carney celebrates Labour Day by ordering labourers back to work
OTTAWA – Employees of Whiteston Manufacturing who were told they were receiving a special Labour Day surprise at the factory today were delighted when that surprise turned out to be Prime M…
Leading physicists claim Mark Carney’s elbows are in a quantum superposition of up and down simultaneously
Waterloo, ON – The Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics put out a statement saying that after months of careful study, they can now claim that Prime Minister Mark Carney’s elbows are…
Mark Carney still answering question reporter asked 6 weeks ago
OTTAWA – In what is being called “a tsunami of words,” Prime Minister Mark Carney is still answering a reporter’s question posed to him at a press conference six weeks ago. Liberal MPs and staff …
Trump says Canada backing Palestinian statehood jeopardizes U.S. trade deal he was gonna break anyway
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S.President Donald Trump has announced that Canada’s decision to recognize Palestinian statehood will “make it very hard for us to make a Trade Deal with them, which I h…
