EDMONTON – Edmonton Police Service have issued an amber alert for Alberta Premier Jason Kenney who is nowhere to be found and may be in danger. The 52-year-old, who has the accountability o…
Tag: Jason Kenney
Premier Kenney responds to spike in cases by expanding Alberta’s y-axis
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is taking bold steps at tackling the rapid spread of cases of COVID-19 in the province by expanding the y-axis on all statistical graphs. “The Health…
Travel Alberta ad invites tourists to marvel at crumbling public health care system
CALGARY – A new set of ads released by Alberta’s tourism agency is wooing tourists to visit the province’s decaying public health care system. Striking support workers, exhausted nurses, an…
Alberta removes education from curriculum
EDMONTON – After taking recommendations from hand-picked advisors, Premier Jason Kenney UCP government will be removing education from the province’s curriculum. Any form of learning will b…
Alberta Health Minister reduces maximum lifespan to 70
EDMONTON – In a sweeping round of cuts, Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro has revealed a significant reduction in the maximum life span of the province’s citizens. Shandro made the anno…
Alberta announces plan to grow VHS industry
EDMONTON – Alberta’s UCP government has announced a sweeping plan to increase the size of Alberta’s VHS industry in an attempt to give the ailing province a much needed economic boost. “For…
Jason Kenney calls Alberta’s bountiful harvest a ‘godsend,’ oddly cagey about which god
EDMONTON – Jason Kenney has been celebrating the bumper harvest Alberta is expecting to bring in this year, but has been reticent to name which deity he holds responsible for this agricultu…
Jason Kenney furious that throne speech didn’t contain a single poem praising the oil industry
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has released a scathing response to this year’s throne speech in which he excoriated the federal government for not presenting a single sonnet, ode o…
Alberta government sets up border checkpoints to screen for fleeing doctors
EDMONTON – Premier Jason Kenney has announced border checkpoints to screen for any physicians trying to leave the province. Police and provincial officials have set up roadblocks at every b…
Jason Kenney: My racist speechwriter doesn’t speak for me, merely writes the words I speak
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney wants everyone to know that the fact that Paul Bunner, the man who writes his speeches, has written anti-Indigenous content in the recent past has n…