WASHINGTON, D.C. – Jared Kushner, President Donald Trump’s son-in-law and Senior Advisor, is adamant that Trump has an excellent chance of winning the 2020 presidential election assuming Tr…
Tag: Jared Kushner
Trump late for diplomatic meeting after taking twenty minutes to put on boots, snow pants
WASHINGTON DC – President Donald Trump is currently late for an important meeting with the Chinese ambassador to the United States after taking twenty minutes to put on his boots and snow p…
Trump demands Scott Pruitt resignation citing insufficient corruption
WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump has demanded the resignation of EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, claiming Pruitt had not shown enough commitment to personal enrichment and graft. De…
John Bolton asks Mueller to indict Trump already so he can start a war
WASHINGTON, DC – Newly-appointed US National Security Advisor John Bolton has contacted the office of Special Counsel Robert Mueller, demanding charges be levelled against Donald Trump already so…
New security clearance policy requires Jared Kushner to hold hands with secret service agent at all times
WASHINGTON D.C. – White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has officially announced that Jared Kushner will only be granted security clearance if he promises to hold the hand of the secret service a…
I’m starting to think I might not do great in prison – by Jared Kushner
You know, there’s something about being investigated by the FBI for attempting to set up a dubious back-channel to the Kremlin that just gets a guy thinking. People are using words like “es…
Nepotism in the White House: Jared Kushner now gets to shave the president’s back
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA – In what critics have described as ‘blatant nepotism’, President Trump has empowered son-in-law Jared Kushner to be the person who shaves his back. “Jared …
Senate Republicans divided on Trump’s plan to kill us all
WASHINGTON, DC – Republicans remained divided Monday, as a vote neared on President Trump’s controversial proposal to kill everyone on earth. The proposed “Liquidation Of All Human Life Act…
Trump cabinet unable to hide boners while signing anti-abortion order
WASHINGTON D.C. – Despite arranging themselves strategically around the oval office desk, and posturing their hands in a shielding fashion, Donald Trump and the majority of his cabinet were…
Jared Kushner named senior advisor to President based on ability to have sex with Ivanka
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A member of Donald Trump’s transition team revealed this week that son-in-law Jared Kushner will be named a senior advisor to the President, based on the fact that he possesses…