TORONTO – Donald ‘Grapes’ Cherry, a failed hockey coach and current hockey commentator who Canadians saw fit to vote as the 7th greatest Canadian of all time, is under fire for saying a rac…
Tag: Immigration
Premier says only Quebecers entitled to service in English are descendants of Irish Orphans from that Heritage Minute
QUEBEC CITY – Francois Legault has declared that, moving forward, the only people in Quebec who will be able to obtain government services in English will be ones who can prove they are a d…
Detained migrant child worried he’s doing a bad job of raising younger detained migrant child
EL PASO, TX — After accepting responsibility for fellow detained migrant child José Estada, age 3, Carlos Lopez, 11, has expressed concerns that he is not living up to the responsibility of…
Malnourished toddler relieved to hear he’s not technically in a concentration camp
CLINT, TEXAS — After having been separated from his parents and forced to sleep on a concrete floor with thousands of other migrant children, 2 year old migrant Filipe Diaz was relieved to …
“But I’m a white!” David Frum screams as he’s picked up by ICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. – David Frum was arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents today during a tense exchange following a sweep of undocumented immigrants in the Atlantic offi…
U.S. government shutdown forces border agents to cage children without pay
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The ongoing shutdown of the U.S. government has caused significant financial strain for the nation’s border patrol agents, who still have not been compensated for their v…
Canada adds ‘will accepting you embarrass Saudi Arabia’ question to refugee claimant form
OTTAWA – Following their shockingly quick acceptance of Saudi teen Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun’s refugee claim, the Trudeau government has officially amended Canada’s refugee intake questionnai…
Conservatives reassure voters that citizenship begins at conception
HALIFAX — Following the its biannual convention, the Conservative Party of Canada has reassured voters of its official position that citizenship will be granted at the exact moment a baby is conc…
How dare Trudeau attack this hardworking Canadian heckler who we shouldn’t ask any further questions about
By Andrew Scheer As leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, I am outraged that Justin Trudeau publicly slammed a decent, law-abiding constituent who asked him a fair question and deserves no …
Trump proposes merit based immigration system rating potential citizens from “1” to “fuckable”
WASHINGTON, D.C – The Trump Administration has proposed a new merit-based immigration system that will award points to applicants. The system is modelled off the merit based systems used in…
