WASHINGTON, D.C. – David Frum was arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents today during a tense exchange following a sweep of undocumented immigrants in the Atlantic offi…
Tag: Immigration
U.S. government shutdown forces border agents to cage children without pay
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The ongoing shutdown of the U.S. government has caused significant financial strain for the nation’s border patrol agents, who still have not been compensated for their v…
Canada adds ‘will accepting you embarrass Saudi Arabia’ question to refugee claimant form
OTTAWA – Following their shockingly quick acceptance of Saudi teen Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun’s refugee claim, the Trudeau government has officially amended Canada’s refugee intake questionnai…
Conservatives reassure voters that citizenship begins at conception
HALIFAX — Following the its biannual convention, the Conservative Party of Canada has reassured voters of its official position that citizenship will be granted at the exact moment a baby is conc…
How dare Trudeau attack this hardworking Canadian heckler who we shouldn’t ask any further questions about
By Andrew Scheer As leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, I am outraged that Justin Trudeau publicly slammed a decent, law-abiding constituent who asked him a fair question and deserves no …
Trump proposes merit based immigration system rating potential citizens from “1” to “fuckable”
WASHINGTON, D.C – The Trump Administration has proposed a new merit-based immigration system that will award points to applicants. The system is modelled off the merit based systems used in…
New immigrant family adjusting to Canadian life by ignoring colonial violence
WINNIPEG – As recent newcomers to Canada, the Khalil family have faced many challenges, but one of the greatest lessons they learned is that there is nothing more Canadian than ignoring the…
Faith Goldy promotes diversity by opening up mayoral campaign to Italians
TORONTO — Toronto mayoral candidate and avowed white nationalist Faith Goldy has announced a new ‘diversity initiative’, wherein her campaign will expand its messaging to include Italian vo…
Immigration Minister apologizes to Ontario, admits being a dick to refugees is very Canadian
OTTAWA – After an incident in which he called Ontario’s new attitude to asylum-seekers “not Canadian” federal Immigration Minister Ahmed Hussen has issued a formal apology, admitting that treatin…
Trump demands his staff be left in peace to eat Mexicans
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following accounts that multiple Trump officials were refused restaurant service this week, the 45th President of the United states demanded via twitter that people “leave my st…