By: Chad “The Bear” Powell Oh man! This hockey game is the best thing ever! Goals! Hotdogs! Sitting in the stands cheering! AW SHIT! Are you seeing that? Those all stars are brawling like animals…
Tag: hockey
NHL refs an inspiration to millions who would love to get paid for not doing their job
TORONTO – Usually it’s the hockey players that are praised for inspiring people. But today people are taking time to praise the unsung heroes of the game, the refs, for letting them k…
TSN, Sportsnet locked in fierce battle to see who can provide worse streaming service
TORONTO – Long-time competitors TSN and Sportsnet are continuing their years-long battle to see who can provide the lowest quality online streaming option for Canadians still willing to pay…
“Thank Christ, we needed this” says nation
BEIJING – The Canadian women’s hockey team has won the Olympic gold medal, prompting an exhausted nation to declare “Holy fucking shit, thank you.” “Between two and a half years of COVID and all …
Humiliating: Canadian women’s hockey team wins quarterfinals by a mere 11 goals
BEIJING – The Canadian women’s hockey team was embarrassed at the Winter Olympics after squeaking by Sweden in the quarterfinal with a meagre 11-0 victory. “Everyone in that locker room knows we…
5 events to watch at the Olympics which we DEFINITELY remembered were happening
What, they’re still doing that? Like with Omicron and everything? I mean, hello, and welcome to the 2022 Winter Games happening in… wait until Wikipedia refreshes… Beijing! Wait, is that a typo? …
Sheer possibility of Toronto being only Canadian team to make NHL playoffs enough to send Alberta man into rage
EDMONTON – Overhearing a sportscaster mention that the Toronto Maple Leafs could be the only Canadian team to make the playoffs this year has sent local man Dave Kilmartin into a full blown…
COVID-19 wins World Juniors
EDMONTON – After a long and hard-fought tournament between some of the greatest under-20 hockey players from across the world, the International Ice Hockey Federation has declared COVID-19 the wi…
Leafs fan instinctively starts singing Hall & Oates anytime something good happens to him
TORONTO – After 3 years of hearing Hall & Oates hit ‘You Make My Dreams’ blast through Scotiabank Arena every time the Leafs score a goal, die-hard fan Matthew Minden has be…
I bet you fucking idiots think I’m about to drop this puck
By: Dalton Henderson, NHL Linesman That’s right you fucking rubes, get in the faceoff circle and put your sticks in, because you think I’m about to drop this puck. Well spoiler alert …
