OTTAWA – In an effort to reduce the glamour of hot sauce, Canada’s government announced Tuesday that it will hold three months of public consultations before forcing the Tabasco industry to use g…
Tag: Health Canada
Attawapiskat First Nation receives urgent airdrop of committee reports
ATTAWAPISKAT – Following the declaration of a state of emergency over recent suicide attempts in the remote First Nation settlement, the Canadian government has wasted no time airlifting in…
Harper announces continuation of 4 year election ad campaign
OTTAWA — With Governor General David Johnston by his side at Rideau Hall, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has officially informed the Canadian public that advertisements for the election will…
New Health Canada ads educate Canadians on risks of voting Liberal (Radio News Update)
OTTAWA – Health Canada will release a series of television commercials warning Canadians about the dangers of voting for the Liberal Party. Anchor: Aaron Hagey-Mackay Sound Effect: Mansardi…
New Health Canada ads educate Canadians on risks of voting Liberal
OTTAWA – Health Canada will release a series of television commercials warning Canadians about the dangers of voting for the Liberal Party. “It’s a gateway to socialism,” said Minister of H…
Whole Foods introduces new gluten pizza
AUSTIN, TX – Health-conscious grocery chain Whole Foods will be launching a new kind of pizza which they promise will revolutionize the way their customers think about pizza by introducing …
‘Fine, don’t get the flu shot. See what I care,’ declare nation’s doctors
OTTAWA – The Canadian Medical Association released a statement earlier today informing Canadians that it no longer cares if you get the flu shot, or what diseases you contract, even though…
Mother proud of son for sharing toys, vaccine-preventable disease with classmates
OAKVILLE – Nathalie Stilstuch, mother of 5 year-old Jackson, is beaming with pride knowing that her son is sharing sandbox toys and his measles with his senior kindergarten class. The gener…
Breast cancer charity makes huge strides in corporate research, logo development
TORONTO – The struggle to market breast cancer corporate awareness is one step closer to victory after the Foundation for Breast Cancer Research of Canada has made a breakthrough in busines…
Latest self pat-down confirms presence of wallet, cancer
THORNHILL WOODS, ON – Shortly before leaving the subway train, local businessman Jerry Levin’s paranoid pocket exploration established the existence of his wallet, cellphone, house keys and a mal…