Uvalde, TX – A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were harmed in yesterday’s shootings at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. “Thank God,”…
Tag: gop
Biden wins election nine days after winning election
ATLANTA, GA – After final vote tallies from Arizona and Georgia, Joe Biden has won the U.S. presidential election only nine days after winning the U.S. presidential election. With a total o…
Republicans praise thoroughness of blank piece of paper with “Kavanaugh FBI Investigation” written on it
WASHINGTON D.C. — Senators Flake, Collins, and the rest of the GOP are praising the FBI’s report on their investigation into Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, which consists entirely o…
Ann Coulter finally allowed to die after Tomi Lahren joins Fox News
NEW YORK – Following the hiring of right-wing pundit Tomi Lahren, Fox News has announced that they will finally be allowing long-time contributor Ann Coulter to die. “So much pain… fo…
The 10 most dishonest lies Donald Trump said during this election campaign
The U.S. election campaign has been a roller-coaster of finger pointing, name calling, and anger on both sides. But one of the hardest things to keep track of are the ever-growing number of untru…
BREAKING: Banksy reveals Donald Trump has been art installation all along
LONDON – Renowned graffiti artist Banksy stunned the world this week when it was revealed that Donald Trump has been an elaborate, multi-media, site specific performance installation by the…
GOP hails Melania Trump as role model to nation’s strong black women
CLEVELAND – Following her stirring keynote address at the Republican National Convention, senior ranking GOP officials are now hailing Melania Trump as a role model for America’s strong black wom…
Trump receives concession call from someone named “John Kasich”
WASHINGTON – Presumptive republican presidential nominee Donald Trump was interrupted during a foreign policy briefing by a concession phone call from an individual named “John Kasich”, who…
Ted Cruz raptured early
INDIANAPOLIS — Following a fierce primary battle, Senator Ted Cruz was rewarded for his staunch support of anti-abortion, anti-immigrant and anti-gay policies by being lifted away from worl…
Carly Fiorina instantly drives Cruz campaign into bankruptcy
WASHINGTON, DC — Republican primary candidate Ted Cruz announced yesterday that he will name fired Hewlett Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina as his running mate, moments before she drove his cam…