WASHINGTON, DC – As summer temperatures soar around the globe due to climate change, the world’s leaders announced they do indeed have a comprehensive plan in place to save themselves…
Tag: Germany
“Birkenstocks are super comfy” reports woman with bloody, cut-up feet
Peterborough, ON – Local woman Jane Waite has been telling friends how comfortable her new Birkenstock sandals are, despite the numerous cuts, blisters and open wounds visible. “I cou…
Danes, Dutch form nation after growing too tired to explain they’re different countries
COPENDAM – The leaders of Denmark and the Netherlands have announced their countries are now unified explaining that the burden to explain the difference to North Americans is not worth the…
Trump cuts diplomatic ties with Germany after discovering they didn’t help U.S. in World War II either
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The international community was left reeling as the United States announced it was pulling its diplomatic mission out of Berlin after President Trump was informed that, l…
Old German neighbour was probably just a cook or something
Waterloo, ON – After year of speculation experts agree the seemingly pleasant 95 year old German man, Charles Müller, probably just served as a cook or some other low level position during …
Man returns from European vacation with fantastic tales of what they have on Netflix
OTTAWA — Local office temp Ryan Graydon has returned from his first-ever trip to Europe eager to regale his friend with stories of the movies and TV shows available on European Netflix. “So…
Samoa ejected after trying to sneak into G20 using fake ID
HAMBURG – In addition to rowdy protests and police action, the G20 was also forced to remove the oft-forgotten island nation of Samoa after it attempted to sneak into the conference with a …
Trudeau already regretting allowing hotel-less Trump to crash in his room
HAMBURG, GERMANY – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is reportedly “kicking himself” for offering to share his G20 hotel room with Donald Trump, after the American President’s staff fo…
America advised to pick more realistic dream
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Citing recent behaviour, a concerned group of friends and international representatives took the United States of America aside today and quietly advised it to pick a more real…
Germany excited to finally be good guy in next World War
BERLIN – Speaking before an assembled group of reporters, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany has announced the entire nation is thrilled that they will probably be considered a good guy in the u…