Toronto traffic is some of the worst in the world. And instead of focusing on getting people to use their cars less by investing in transit, bike lanes and pedestrianization, we need solutions th…
Tag: Doug Ford
Doug Ford closes Safe Injection Site to make way for new All-You-Can-Drink Booze Guzzler’s Emporium
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced the imminent shutdown of a local safe injection site in favour of a new retail outlet devoted solely to alcohol consumption. “I have h…
Panicked Ford works to resolve LCBO strike before conservative voters sober up
QUEEN’S PARK – In the wake of an LCBO strike, Premier Doug Ford has reportedly been working around the clock to secure Ontarian’s access to hard liquor, as keeping conservative …
Ontario Science Centre closes after roof in danger of collapsing under weight of Doug Ford’s bullshit
TORONTO – After standing for 54 years as a testament to midcentury architecture and a source of memories for generations of young people, the Ontario Science Centre was announced to be clos…
Ford announces LCBO paper bags to double as his affordable housing plan
QUEEN’S PARK – In a bid to provide economic relief to struggling Ontarians, Premier Doug Ford has ordered the LCBO to return to providing customers free paper bags – a move that…
Ford doubles down on refusal to build fourplexes until someone explains to him what they are
VAUGHAN – After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced on Tuesday that he would give an additional six billion dollars to the provinces for housing as long as they allow fourplexes to be b…
Following Appeal Court ruling, Ford vows to get revenge on teachers and nurses in a different, constitutional way
QUEEN’S PARK – After the Ontario Appeal Court ruled today that Bill 124, Doug Ford’s law imposing wage caps on public sector workers, was unconstitutional, Ford vowed that he would get reve…
Conservatives explain why they’re so obsessed with Trans Kids
Now that Conservatives in Canada have embraced their American cousins’ plan of winning elections by attacking Trans kids at every opportunity, we asked them why they are so obsessed with th…
Doug Ford moves Ontario’s Legislative Assembly to the back of a Costco
TORONTO – Carrying on with his party’s plan to make every government office operate out of an American chain store, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced that provincial parliament …
Canadian Politicians New Year’s Resolutions
We asked the biggest names in Canadian politics what they hope to accomplish in the new year. Here is what they had to say:…
