SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN – A Coronavirus cell incubating in an air passenger destined for Pearson International Airport is eager to exploit the many ‘efficiencies’ in the public hea…
Tag: Doug Ford
CPC furious after Scheer pays for private schooling with party funds instead of oil kickbacks
OTTAWA — As Andrew Scheer resigns the Conservative leadership, party leaders are furious he used campaign funds to pay for his children’s private schooling, as opposed to the usual so…
Doug Ford starts Christmas celebrations with traditional cutting down of wind turbine
PRINCE EDWARD COUNTY, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford and his provincial counterparts got into the holiday spirit by chopping down their own Christmas wind turbine. Ford invited his friends …
Trudeau, Ford bond over shared love of ethics violations
OTTAWA – At a meeting of the minds last week, Ontario’s Premier Doug Ford and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau found common ground in their shared love for disregarding ethical codes of conduct. The…
Doug Ford knocks on cellar door to see if it’s okay to come out
KENORA, ON – Rapping on a rickety plywood door from his subterranean hiding, Ontario Premier Doug Ford sheepishly asked his Conservative Party handlers if it was okay to come out now that t…
Doug Ford still trying to finish Andrew Scheer’s diversionary scavenger hunt
TIMISKAMING DISTRICT, ON – Deep in the Ontario wilderness, Premier Doug Ford believes he’s nearly found all the items to complete Conservative leader Andrew Scheer’s elaborate game to keep …
Ford lives out childhood dream of firing teachers over his summer vacation
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford and the Progressive Conservatives played out their school-yard fantasy today, by firing taking 10,000 teaching jobs away from the education system by 202…
Doug Ford vows to reach $15 billion deficit total he lied about before the end of his term
QUEEN’S PARK – During his 2018 election campaign, Ford claimed the Liberals had left him with a $15 billion deficit, now understood to be a much smaller sum of $7.8 billion, and has since promise…
Doug Ford to privatize birds
TORONTO — This week, Premier Doug Ford announced a bold plan to privatize birds in the province of Ontario. “We’ve been wasting money on public birds for too long,” said Ford. “We simply ca…
Report: Ford gov actually shut down to avoid mockery from new episodes of Beaverton tv show
TORONTO – Sources within the Ford administration revealed today that the real reason the government took a sudden, extremely lengthy summer hiatus was to avoid being made of fun by the new …
