EDMONTON – Disappointing both his parents and his gentle-hearted saviour Zognath, local man Eric Timmins has started dating a girl whose family are lapsed Groznites. “Of course I take it pe…
Tag: dating
Paul Bernardo’s fiancée: He’s not that creepy by online dating standards
LONDON, ON – Convicted serial killer Paul Bernardo’s fiancée confirmed today that he was the least creepy man she had met online. “Since he can only access the prison computer for an hour a…
New dating app “Tradr Datr” allows you to send out more attractive person on dates
TORONTO – The makers of “Personal Dating Assistant,” the site that offers its users consultants who manage your online dating profile for you, have developed a new app that allo…
Lonely Woman Invents Shitty Boyfriend
VICTORIA, BC – Tired of her friends’ relationship conversations dominating group outings, local copywriter Ashley Tanner, 25, recently invented a distant and generally disappointing signifi…
Master farter confused by constant rejection
MILTON, ON – Gifted tooter Josh Bibby expressed displeasure today at his inability to find a “nice girl,” despite his painstakingly-honed ability to fart on command. “I’ve tried online dati…
