In these difficult times, many are struggling to maintain good mental health in the face of social isolation and economic uncertainty. Health experts warn that it’s important to make time and spa…
Tag: Cheese
Taco Bell introduces Cheesy Gordita Trough
Irvine, CA – Building on some of their most popular menu items and the basest instincts of their customers, Taco Bell unveiled their newest menu item, the Cheesy Gordita Trough. “We took th…
Local woman aroused by telling people she’s off dairy
MONTREAL – Local woman Sara Cloutier’s decision to spread the word about cutting dairy products from her diet produced an unexpected but pleasurable sensation in her body over the weekend. When r…
New Canada Food Guide asks, ‘You really gonna eat that?’
OTTAWA – Canada’s Food Guide is getting a complete overhaul, revamping the ten-year-old publication to deliver a clear nutritional message: “You’re doing it wrong.” The new Food Guide will …
Local man postpones checkup with doctor to eat three-cheese panzerotti
HAMILTON, ON – After deliberating for several months on if he should schedule a much-needed physical, Jeff Turcott has decisively purchased a mouth-watering panzerotti instead. “I can make an app…
QUIZ: You just ate processed cheese off the floor. Didn’t you used to be better than this?
Oh, boy. You went and did it. You just ate that slice of cheese that fell on the floor, didn’t you? You might be wondering what you should do next. Well, this is a great time to reflect on yourse…
Trump’s Canadian dairy criticism forces federal government to declare CHEESECON 1
OTTAWA – US President Donald Trump’s threat of imposing sanctions against the Canadian dairy industry has caused the federal government to increase the cheese threat to its highest level, C…
Senate announces $2 million national inquiry to investigate cold cases of cheese
OTTAWA – Conservative Senator Nancy Ruth along with dozens of other upper chamber members have announced the Senate’s intention to launch a comprehensive inquiry into the victims of cold ch…
Canada, EU reach free trade deal after Dave eats nation’s supply of Brie cheese
BRUSSELS – Canada and the European Union have signed a historic free trade agreement, which resupply Canadian fridges after Dave ate all of country’s Brie cheese. “Canadians will be relieve…