BATTLE CREEK, MI – Kellogg’s is moving to replace the 1,400 striking workers at several major US plants after contract negotiations broke down earlier this week. Hoping to stamp out any fur…
Tag: Cereal
Quaker Oats announces that Cap’n Crunch has died as the result of auto-erotic asphyxiation
CHICAGO – Quaker Oats informed the public today that Cap’n Crunch, the cheerful cereal mascot who has been delighting children since 1963, is dead as a result of accidentally hanging himsel…
Frightened Cheerio enters uncharted void between plastic bag and cereal box
UNKNOWN — A routine voyage to The Bowl was beset by tragedy this morning, when a straggling Cheerio fell into the unmapped nether region between the plastic bag and cereal box. The oat morsel wa…
