QUEEN’S PARK – After resale tickets to the Blue Jays’ World Series immediately skyrocketed into the thousands of dollars, Ontario Premier Doug Ford held a press conference to place the blam…
Tag: Blue Jays
Canada cool with one group of temporary foreign workers
TORONTO – The nation of Canada has decided that, on second thought, some temporary foreign workers can stay. “The Temporary Foreign Worker Program is a scam designed to take the jobs …
Jays fans look to gain Game 7 edge by kidnapping beloved Seattle radio psychiatrist
SEATTLE, WA – With the ALCS series headed to a winner-take-all game 7, Toronto Blue Jays fans have attempted to gain an advantage over the Mariners by abducting Dr. Frasier Crane, beloved r…
Pentagon warns Toronto ‘dangerously close’ to winning World Series
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following last night’s elimination of the New York Yankees, the United States Department of War has advised the White House that the Toronto Blue Jays are “per…
Breaking: so it is possible for a homegrown star to succeed in playoffs despite Toronto fans, media
TORONTO – Vladimir Guerrero Jr. has led the Blue Jays to a 2-0 series lead over the New York Yankees, proving that it actually is possible for a Toronto athlete to perform well in the playo…
Trump promises shutdown will not impact essential U.S. government services like Bombings and Coups
“Don’t worry, we still have enough funds to indiscriminately bomb people on small boats near the coast of Venezuela.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood, Megan Mac…
Blue Jays announce giveaway where first 15,000 fans get a family doctor
TORONTO – In an effort to sell tickets to baseball games, Blue Jays team president Mark Shapiro has announced a new giveaway where the first 15,000 fans who enter the Rogers Centre during an upco…
Report: Juan Soto in talks with Ohtani about best way to get Canadians’ hopes up before crushing their dreams
TORONTO – As rumours and speculation fly around whether or not the Blue Jays will acquire free agent and four-time All-Star Juan Soto, Soto was recently spotted talking to Shohei Ohtani abo…
Rogers promises Leafs, Raptors fans that their teams will be just as successful as current Blue Jays
TORONTO – After announcing they had acquired majority control of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, the board of Rogers Communications reassured Leafs, Raptors, TFC and Argos fans that …
Blue Jays owners shocked to discover you’re allowed to fire Front Office when team sucks every year
TORONTO – The Board of Rogers Communications, owner of the Toronto Blue Jays, have expressed their shock at the information that they are within their rights to fire the executive team of M…
