EDMONTON – In a tragic domestic incident yesterday, 30-year-old Mandy Whitehouse died from horrific burns covering almost her entire body, after finally finding a shower temperature that was warm…
Tag: 9/11
Report: Tingling in your left arm probably nothing
HALIFAX – Sources are reporting that the tingling in your left arm is nothing to be concerned with. Further reports indicate that you should not call 911 but rather stay in line at this sur…
Guantanamo Bay touts success story of child soldier turned multi-millionaire
GUANTANAMO BAY – The US Defense Department is praising its own prison system after a former child soldier imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay became a multi-millionaire yesterday when the Supreme …
Canadian playwrights scramble to find next American tragedy to make all about us
NEW YORK – In the wake of 7 Tony-nominations for the Newfoundland-set Come From Away, playwrights across Canada are hard at work on the next musical romp that capitalizes on an American dis…
6-year-old staying on no-fly list until involvement in 9/11 ruled out
MARKHAM, ON. – After reviewing the case of 6-year-old Syed Adam Ahmed, Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale says he will remain on the no fly list until it is ‘rock solid’ that he was not i…
Ben Carson calls for submarines to be stationed along entire U.S. Canadian border
LAS VEGAS – Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson has publicly demanded that the US-Canadian border be secured by stationing US Navy submarines along its entire stretch. “We need to de…
Uncle just calling to say ‘how’s it going’, ‘9/11 was an inside job’
MARMORA, ON – After not having seen the family since Christmas, Uncle Dave has decided to just call and see what’s up, as well as remind you that he thinks 9/11 was perpetrated by the U.S. …